Quazy for Vanessa/Transcript
(Scene starts with SwaySway and Buhdeuce sitting on the Rocket Van.) *SwaySway: You know, buhdeuce, there are only three things you need in life to be happy quacky. One, bread. *Buhdeuce: yip, yip. *SwaySway: Two, bread. And three... *Buhdeuce: bread, bread, bread. *SwaySway: No a sweet rica rica ROCKET VAN, MAN. *(duck quacking) *Buhdeuce: Whoa, what's with all the ruckus? *SwaySway: Maybe it's a monster. *Mama Monster: No, man, it's worse! much worse (screams) *Buhdeuce: What could be worse than monsters? *(both gasp) *(heavy rock music plays) *Both: OONSKI THE GREAT! *Oonski: Eat, beat, steal! (quack!) Eat, beat, steal! (quack!) I'm Oonski the Great And I eat, beat, steal! Eat, beat, steal! Eat, beat, steal! BOO. *(quack) *Oonski: (laughs) Puny feather brains. *Buhdeuce: Oh, my bap. that guy is quazy. *SwaySway: Don't worry. he'll never find us up here. *Oonski: (shouts) (both scream) Give me your stuff. (laughs) Huh What's this? a rocket van. Oonski's never stolen a rocket van before. *Buhdeuce: No way, crumb bag. the rocket van is ours. *(Oonski roars) *SwaySway: Let's skiduckle, b. *Oonski: (falls down) Eat, beat, steal! *(ducks quack) *(heavy rock music plays) *(both grunting) *Buhdeuce: Man, that beaver really wants our rocket. *SwaySway: Release the splat bread. *Buhdeuce: Buh, buh, buh, buh, booty kick! *Oonski: (Got splattered on) Mmm, that's not bad. *(they got away) *Oonski: hey, you shoot at Oonski's crew. Now Oonski shoot Oonski's crew at you. *both: WHAT? *quack angrily *shouts *gagging *(quacks) *reverberating *SwaySway: Shake it off, man.I don't see him. I think we lost him. *Oonski: Think again. *scream - Punch it, b. *Hoo-ah. *screams both: WHOO-HOO! OH, YEAH! *Okay, we can slow down now. *Uh, I think I punched it too hard, bap. *screaming scream *Buhdeuce: I think my skull is in my butt. *No pain, no grain. *weakly PUH, PUH, PUH, PARTY PUNCH. *At least we finally lost oonski. *Oonski: EAT, BEAT, STEAL quack EAT, BEAT, STEAL quack *Oh, my bap, you got to be kidding me. *We'll never get away now. *We can't let oonski take the rocket van. *but it's too big to hide. *It'd be like trying to hide my booty. *It might be too big to hide, but it's not too big to disguise. *My booty or the rocket van? *music *panting *hubbah, hubbah. hello, boxy mama. *This disguise is delish. *Oonski won't even be able to tell it's the rocket van, I hope. *scream - growling That rocket van must be around here some-- why, hello there, miss. *chuckles Have you seen a rocket van go by? *gasps HE'S TALKING TO US. *What do we do? we conversate? *Ooh, ooh, ooh. *high-pitched NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN A VAN GO By. *Ooh, you have a very pretty voice. *normal THANK YOU. I MEAN, UM... *high-pitched THANK YOU. *That's, uh, what my mama always told me. *I think he's buying it. - okay, careful now. *One slip of the beak, and we could blow this whole disguise and lose the rocket van. *So what's your name? *Buhdeuce: (girly voice) My name is rocket van. (Gets interrupted) *SwaySway: (Takes the microphone and talks in a girly voice) nessa. My name is vanessa. *My name is oonksi the great, son of oonski the good, grandson of oonski the so-so. *belches - Well, it was nice to meet you. *Got to go grease my gaskets. toodle-oo. *shouts Hold on! *Oonski knows what's going on here. *UM, YOU DO? throat high-pitched I MEAN, YOU DO? *Yes. *You're playing hard to get. *laughs OONSKI RESPECTS THAT. *Oonski will take you on a nice date now to show you he's a gentleman. *screaming Give me a table for two! *clanks quack Please. *I guess the disguise worked too well. *He's got a crush on vanessa. *Then we got to crush that crush by making vanessa as obnoxious as possible. *I'll show you obnoxious. give me that. *So, vanessa, tell oonski about yourself. *Well, I'm a compulsive liar. - yeah. *I have no job or money. - go on. *I live in my parents' basement. *Ooh, basement. *I like to pick my scabs. *Scabs. *ooh! *And I poop with the door open. *ME TOO! laughs Vanessa, oonski think oonski's in love. *Oh, no. *He's coming in for a kiss. *screaming - Oh, gross. I can see tonsil. *I can't take it anymore. *This must end! *blaring - grunting I don't know about you, but oonski's feeling some real sparks here. *The only thing I feel is sick and dirty. *You're probably just hungry. *Please allow oonski to feed you. *This will be romantic. *Remember to chew your food. *grunting - Stop! please! I'm full. *You just need to walk it off. *Vanessa, you're not like other girls. * You're much bigger, and you have a surprising amount of torque. *That's, um, nice of you. *Oonski: What can oonski say? oonski's a nice guy. Sure, oonski likes to eat, beat, and steal, but deep down oonski has feelings, deep feelings for you, vanessa. *Both: HUH? *Oonski: Now that your my girlfriend, there's something you should know. You'll never be, without Oonski. Cause I'll never let you GO! Vanessa, I'll be so good to you! Everything, I do I do for you! Come On, Vanessa! You Drive Me Quazy! I like you, so much, I want to raise a family with YOU! With YOU! Send the kid to school, send the kid to collage! He will make us proud, he will be a doctor! So what do you say Vanessa? Will you make me the happiest Viking Beaver in the world and MARRY ME? *Buhdeuce: through a microphone, in a girly voice No. *SwaySway: the microphone, also in a girly voice No WAY I wouldn't say yes! *Oonski: Yes! Yes! Victory dance! Oh yeah! Oonski, Oonski, Oonski, Oonski Oh yeah Oonski, Oonski, Oonski, Oonski... *Buhdeuce: So let me get this straight. We have to marry oonski and raise a family with him now? *SwaySway: It's either that or lose the rocket van, and papa ain't giving up his wheels. *Oonski: Oh, vanessa, we're going to be so happy together. There's absolutely nothing that will ever tear our love apart. *(the pidgeons eat the food cleaning the rocket van) *Oonski: Hey, you're not a girl! You two quackers tricked oonski! (he drops the Breadwinners and takes the rocket van in them) But on the bright side, now I can finally steal the rocket van. *Think again, oonski. party punch! *You okay over there, bap? *screams rock music shouting - grunting ♪ ♪ *Oonski: Taste my mace. *whistle *Oonski: HMM? *SwaySway: (high-pitched) HEY THERE, BIG BEAVER. *(Oonski drops his mace on Buhdeuce and falls in love with the dumpster in which SwaySway hides) *Oonski: Hello, miss. (sniffs) Is that perfume you're wearing? Oonski think oonski's in love again. (chuckles and kisses which s=disgusts the Breadwinners) *SwaySway: (groans) THAT IS JUST WRONG. *Buhdeuce:Tell me about it. *SwaySway: That dumpster isn't half the woman vanessa was. *Oonski: Oh, dumpster-ella, you're twice the woman vanessa was. *(Episode end.) Category:Transcripts Category:Season 1 Episodes